loren inspired revisions

Here are poems from before, I tried to go through and delete about half of each poem, to see what would happen to it - i'm not sure yet, i like them better like this, but i need to work it out a little more.

"Tennessee Sleep"

Asleep, churning,
gears twitching arms and legs.

I slap your cheek
Sweat your body

You throw me
tell me
days are numbered
ever so.

But, I say, your nose
is only in America.

"Urges in a Car"

Big grey box,
spine aligned with leather skin.
The wheel thumps,
cold air shaves cheek.
The vibrations un-Velcro Sunday School lessons.
Swerve to or to,
into your house,
green peas halfway to mouth.
It's nothing personal,
I need the sound.

"Sweater Vest Delights"

February snow found me plastic blue.
skull shattered,
crushed strawberries

stained white hi-tops
four kicks, heart starts.

Slipping in heat,

hair static straight,
veins galloping in your neck.
flannel full of internals
knees make geometry
in pinstriped sheets.

eyelashes on my nose.

"Mice Couldn’t Know"

Cities blind the stars,
stars blind our eyes.
under the flourescents
we shivering.

In field or pasture,
how far to find your warmth.
So it was persuasion
in street cold,
shaking our feet.

Concrete canopies make telephone wires